Blessed and a little (bitching and moaning)

Well here I am at 34 weeks and I can not even believe we have come this far. I am so incredibly blessed, and I know it. I have the most amazing husband, even if he does piss me off on purpose sometimes, I know that me and my kids are his number one concern. He is so good to me and would do anything for me. I love him so much and he trully is my rock! I also have an incredible son, who makes me laugh every single day and gives me every ounce of love he has in his huge heart. He is so perfect for our family and I dont know what I would do without him. For over five years we hoped and prayed and prayed and hoped for one more child to make our family complete. Eight months ago God blessed me once again with a miracle. I trully believe this baby is a miracle, just as any other baby is, but I think my baby is just that much more special. (dont all moms?) I know that this baby boy is special and he will complete us as a family.
Now dont get me wrong, it's not all rainbows and butterflies over here. I am so done with being pregnant. I know most(or all) pregnant women feel that way at the end. I am in so much pain, it seriously hurts to walk. I dont sleep and when I do it is not good sleep. I am exhausted and all I want to do is eat. I have gained less than 10 lbs,  but I feel like I have gained at least 80. My spine feels like jello. My back is killing me. My house is such a wreck and I dont want to clean it. The contractions are really getting the best of me. It is hard to do so many everyday tasks. Grayson kicks so hard sometimes I literally double over in pain. I am so grumpy I feel bad for my family. And a little depression has definitely set in. I told Jared just tonight, I dont want to go anywhere or do anything. It hurts so bad just to walk. We went grocery shopping tonight and by the time we were donee I was so spent I had to lay down for a little bit when we got home to recoup. It is just the last day or two that I have been in this much pain and this exhausted.
 Is this normal???
 I was not like this when pregnant with Grant.

Maybe not funny to you...

Maybe these aren't as humorous to those of you who are not feeling like a house that is about ready to pop, but I think they are silly. So I thought I would share some that I can relate to right now! HAHA The last one is my favorite this week!

Grant at 6 years old

As I have said before, when I write on my blog it is because I want to remember specific things and I want to be able to look back on them and recall as much as possible. As an added bonus it is nice that some of these memories and moments I can share with family and friends.
I want to rememer my little boy just as he is today, and I never want to ever forget the way I am feeling right now.  Here are some of the basics.
Grant is 6 years 2 1/2 months.
He LOVES the color red.
He loves mac n cheese, hamburgers, steak, and ribs. He is definitely a carnivor.
His best friend right now is mommy, but if you ask him he will tell you it is Brandon.
His favorite show by far is Spongebob, although I do try to discourage it.
He loves super heroes, spiderman, batman, ironman, transformers, and Xmen.
He LOVES sports of any kind, but especially football.
He loves the Utes, Jazz, Yankees, and Redskins.
He is so into music right now, and loves C'Spine and Nickleback.
For some reason his favorite animal is a cheetah, but he likes elephants too.
He has recently learned to tie his shoes and has started brushing his teeth all by himself!!
Grant is so cuddly and lovey and he is a huge mommy's boy. He is so incredibly sweet, he tells me all the time how much he loves me and that I am the best mommy ever. I just eat it up. Nothing brings me more joy then my little boy. Grant is so excited to be a big brother. It is so sweet. He will tell me at least 2-3 times a day that he wants Grayson to be here now. He talks to Grayson and he will hug and kiss my belly. He will sing to him and when he is kicking me he will tell him to be nice. Grant is getting ready to go into first grade, and he is very nervous. New situations give him some anxiety and he can be quite a worrier. He is worried about meeting new kids and his new teacher. He is also worried about forgetting where his classroom is. I reassure him as much as possible but he still worries, a lot like his mom. The thing about Grant is that once he gets comfortable, he will jump right in with both feet. Once he gets used to a situation he is very friendly and out-going. Once he comes out of his cocoon he is a little social butterfly.
I am so incredibly blessed to have this amazing little boy to call my own. I trully feel he is a PERFECT match for me. I love him more than life itself. He is my very special little angel.

33 weeks and "issues"

Oh man, what a ride this is becoming. I went to the doctor yesterday and baby looks good. Heart rate at 130 again, as usual. And my blood pressure is perfect. Thank God for that. When measuring my Uterus the doctor always comments that I am still VERY pregnant. In the last 2 weeks it has grown 4 cm. So I am now at 37cm. WOW!!! Big boy in there, but Grant measured big as well so I am trying not to worry about it. I had some questions for the doctor about some "issues" I have been having. Some things I have been trying to treat on my own for the past couple of weeks. Well when I brought these "issues" up to the doctor he was quite concerned and told me I needed to see a specialist right away or I needed to go to the ER. He gave us a recomendation of a specialist and sent us on our way. As soon as we got to the parking lot we called to get an appointment and were told that they are booked until December. LOVELY. So they gave us some other recomendations. When calling around we found that the soonest we could get in would be at least a week. We also found that the ER was not a good option. So I was pissed. This is something that needs to be taken care of NOW, but noone will help me. Give me a break. What options do I have then?? So my awesome husband got on the phone and convinced someone to get me in first thing tomorrow morning. So tomorrow morning I go into the "specialist" not knowing what to expect, I dont know what they are going to do or what they are going to tell me as far as the damage that may have already been done, I just dont know. I am nervous and anxious and scared. I wish my mommy could go with me.

The one thing that makes me feel a bit better is that my OB reassured me that this "issue" is not harmful to our baby boy. Thank God! If not taken care of soon, it could be harmful to me, but hopefully it wont come to that. Thoughts and prayers would be very appreciated.

Discovery Gateway

We went to the Children's Museum today with Sara, Ollie, and Zoey! It was a lot of fun!

Goofy boys playing with the balls in the Bee Hive!

This is Grant's very favorite part in the entire place. I think he might be an (ickstruction) worker when he grows up. 

Here is Ollie working construction too!

And of course the beautiful Miss Zoey-Jane! OMG She is such a sweetheart and always so happy. I just cant get enough of her!

Grant built several buildings while we were there. Other kids would come and go but Grant just kept working away at his buildings, even when mean kids knocked them over.

I love the way Ollie's tongue is sticking out!!

Aww BUDDIES!!!

Grant and the life flight helicopter!

And here he is driving it!

Cute little worker boy!

32 weeks

By now, your baby weighs 3.75 pounds and is about 16.7 inches long, taking up a lot of space in your uterus. You're gaining about a pound a week and roughly half of that goes right to your baby. In fact, she'll gain a third to half of her birth weight during the next 7 weeks as she fattens up for survival outside the womb. She now has toenails, fingernails, and real hair (or at least respectable peach fuzz). Her skin is becoming soft and smooth as she plumps up in preparation for birth.

This past Saturday I lost my mucous plug. I called the doctor and he told me to just take it easy and watch for contractions and labor signs. He also told me MOST women go into labor within 2 weeks of losing it, so that scared me a bit. I was only at 31 weeks. So Sunday I just took it easy all day and my amazing husband doted on me all day. It was so cute. When I woke up on Monday morning I just felt different and was having a ton of back pain and contractions. I didnt think a whole lot about it until I had this major pressure down in my pelvis. I thought I would call to get a professionals opinion on the situation, and the nurse told me to go into labor and delivery to get checked out. I really debated on whether I was going to go in or not, because I was pretty sure I was not in labor. But I would rather be safe then sorry at 31 weeks, I wanted to make sure my baby boy was ok. So I dropped Grant off at my mom's and headed to the hospital, Jared met me there. They hooked me up to all the monitors and took all the vitals. Everything looked good, baby looked great and my contractions had even slowed down by that point. I was so happy. The nurse did an exam and I am dilated to almost 2cm, which isnt really a big deal. She also did a "preterm labor test" She explained to us that if it came back possitive labor would be very soon, and if it came back negative we would have at least 2 weeks before labor. It came back negative!! Jared and I were both so releived. We now know we have at least 2 weeks before I go into labor, which means that Grayson has more time to develope INSIDE of mommy!!! I can not wait to have my baby boy in my arms but I dont want it to be too soon. I want him to be able to come home from the hospital with us, not have to stay in the NICU.

31 week doctor appointment

So I went to the doctor today and everything is great! Heart rate was at 130, which it always is. My blood pressure is still really good, which is one of the things I am worried about. I had pre-eclempsia towards the end with Grant, so everytime I go in I am always nervous about that. Grayson's growing plateaued this week and my uterus only grew 1/2 cm, which is so awesome! Plus to top it all off I lost 4lbs in the last 2 weeks. YAY!!! I am almost back down to my prepregnancy weight. And no the doc is not at all worried that I am losing weight.
When I had Grant he was born 3 weeks early, so I asked the doctor if it is more likely that this baby will come early as well. He said yes, it is more likely, plus baby is big so that also plays in a little bit. I really think I may only have 6 or so more weeks until baby is here. Jared predicts Grayson will be born on August 29, instead of September 29. And as for me, I think it will probably be early September. But he will come when he is ready. And we can not wait!!

31 weeks

This week, your baby measures over 16 inches long. He weighs about 3.3 pounds and is heading into a growth spurt. He can turn his head from side to side, and his arms, legs, and body are beginning to plump out as needed fat accumulates underneath his skin. He's probably moving a lot, too, so you may have trouble sleeping because your baby's kicks and somersaults keep you up. Take comfort: All this moving is a sign that your baby is active and healthy.

OK so these things arent always exact. That's why it says "about 3.3 pounds" Remember I posted two weeks ago that Grayson weighed 3 pounds 4 ounces? He is probably over 4 pounds now and heading into a growth spurt. If I carry him all the way until his due date on Sept. 29 he will be well over 8 pounds. This is why I am hoping he comes early like his brother did!

Why natural??

When I gave birth to Grant I was younger and a lot less educated on what I wanted. I knew that I wanted to have a natural childbirth, but I didnt put in the time I should have to do all the research on how to successfully acheive everything I wanted out of this huge experience. This time I have done a lot more serearch (maybe to the point of obsession) and I feel like Jared and I are both ready to acheive the birthing experience we want for our second son.
Some may ask "WHY??" Why do I want a natural childbirth when I know it could be so much easier and less painful? Well, let me just start by saying that a natural birth to me doesnt mean just not using pain meds. A natural childbirth is just like it sounds "completely NATURAL" I dont want my labor to be augmented in anyway. I dont any type of pain killer. I dont want my waters broken. I want to allow my body to do what God created it to do. The body naturally knows what to do and when to do it. And the answer to that question of WHY? Because this is how I feel God meant it to be. I feel that this is absolutely what is best for me and my baby. And I know that I am strong enough to do it.
I am grateful that we live in the time we live in and we have many medical advances to use to our advantage, if absolutely necessary. But I will not use those things until Jared and I both feel it is absolutely necessary. I just hope that none of that will be necessary.
Because of the way I want my birthing experiance to go, I have thought long and hard about who I want to be at my side (or at my feet) while I am laboring and when Grayson enters this world. I was lucky enough to be at the birth of my nephew Bentley, and that was an amazing experience that I will hold dear for the rest of my life. So I thought to myself, do I want to give someone else the chance to experience that amazing miracle of my son being born. And the answer I came up with is a little selfish. I want this to be a very special experience and I want it to be very intimate and controlled. I dont want a lot of people watching me or gawking over Grayson when he first comes out. So I decided that the only people I want there with me are my husband and my mom. I want the doctor to imediately put Grayson up on my chest and I want the room to be quiet so that we can start our bonding. I want someone to wait just outside the door with Grant and to bring him in as soon as everything is covered up so that he can be a part of this family bonding experience.
I am well aware that this experience may not go exactly as I want it to. And I know that the nature of laboring and birthing is so unpredictable, but I am determined to make it the best experience possible for my little family.

Grayson Blake

Well I guess the cat's out of the bag, not that it was a secret, because we have told many people what we plan to name this sweet baby boy! As you can see the ultrasound tech felt it necessary to put his name on a bunch of these pictures, but I had to post them anyway! Well here is the story behind the name... As most of you know I was absolutely convinced that he was going to be a she, and in that case her name would have been Gracee Rose. Well when we found out that he was a he we obviously had to come up with a new name, so for a little while Jared and I would throw names out and neither of us could ever agree. I didnt like his names and he didnt like mine, so we just kept thinking, we had time. I really dont remember who it was for sure but I think it was Grant, one day threw out the name Grayson. Jared and I both liked it! I really liked that it is close to Gracee. So we started calling him Grayson, not sure that his name would really end up being Grayson, but it was something to call him until we came up with something else we might like better. Jared and I continued to talk about other names and everytime we did Grant would get mad at us and tell us he already had a name. So it started to really stick. We have all come to love the name and Grant is so happy that it starts with the same letters as his own name. So Grayson it is!

As some of you also know, Jared's cousin Cory passed away a little over 2 years ago. Jared grew up really close with Cory and his brothers and thinks of them as his own brothers. Jared thinks about and talks about Cory all the time, and misses him like crazy. Cory was an amazing man and such an awesome example of what a man and a husband and a daddy should be. I came to trully love Cory and the amazing influence he was on Jared. Cory's middle name was Blake and I am so honored to give my son the same middle name. One day Jared came to me and said "I thought of the perfect middle name for our baby boy". When I asked him what it was he was a little hesitant in telling me, thinking that for some reason I might not like the idea. But I love it! Like I said Cory was an amazing man and if my son grows up to be anything like him then I will be a proud mama! 

So that is how he got his name! And here are some pretty cool pictures of the handsome little man! 

He always has his hands up to his face! ALWAYS!

Here he is putting his thumb in his mouth!

Look at that little nose

Look how big his hand is and he doesnt even have his fingers stretched out. OMG

Here he's got his thumb in front of his lips.