My children are truly blessed!

My sweet little Grant is so blessed! He is the luckiest little boy in the world, because he has an amazing Maama and an equally amazing Papa who absolutely adore him! And he in return adores them too! His favorite thing in the world to do is spend time at his Maama and Papa's house, he asks constantly to go up there. Well when we found out about a month ago that our favorite band was coming to Salt Lake, I was talking to my mom about it and she says, "I smell a sleepover" How cute is that? Maama and papa love it when Grant sleeps over and, of course, so does he. So Friday night finally came and you wouldnt even beleive how excited Grant was to have a sleepover. He asked as soon as he woke up in the morning if we could go. Here is part of the reason he loves to go. This is a conversation we had on the way home after I picked him up...

Me-Did you sleep good last night?
G-Yep!
Me-Where did you sleep?
G-With Papa!
Me-In Papa's bed?
G-Yep!
Me-Well where did Maama sleep?
G-Umm, on the couch I think.
Me-Grant that is not very nice to kick Maama out of her own bed.
G-I know, but I love to sleep in Papa's bed and he loves it too Mom!

And he really does!He loves it when Grant comes and crawls in to bed and snuggles him! I dont know how Maama feels about being kicked out though.
While spending the night at Maama and Papa's he had a yummy dinner made just for him, played pla-doh with Papa (his second most favorite thing to do), made gummy martians from scratch, played the Wii, watched a movie with Maama, went to the grocery store and got his own special yogurt, and did whatever else he wanted in the meantime! And when I went to get him he told me he didnt want to come home, he wants to live there forever. Who wouldnt, Right?
Grant is a little bit stingy with his hugs, but he has always had a very special bond with my mom, therefore he is more generous with his hugs when it comes to her. Sometimes Papa gets left out in the hugs and kisses department but it is really sweet to watch his face light up when grant will honor him with a hug and a kiss. My parents truly are amazing, and as amazing as they are I never could have imagined the wonderful relationship they share with my son. I know that they will adore this baby that is on the way just as much as they do Grant! I am so so grateful for them!

9 weeks

Our sweet little baby is now about an inch long and weighs about 0.16 oz. About the size of a large grape! It is so amazing to me to think that only a couple weeks ago she was only the size of a pea. The miracle of the process of building a baby is just incredible. Another thing that amazes me is that the baby can now move all her joints, shoulders, elbows, wrists, hips, knees, and ankles! And she now has little fingers and toes. She is practicing moving her limbs, although I cant feel it yet! But I can not wait to feel her moving around in there, and I am so so excited for Grant to feel her kicking and punching! The newness of me being pregnant has deffinitely not worn off for our sweet boy. He is so incredibly lovey towards me constantly wanting to snuggle and get extra hugs and kisses. He has always been a lover but his affection towards me and the baby is in hyper drive! And I am loving it! He still loves to hug and kiss and talk to my tummy! And everyone he runs into or meets he immediately tells them, "My mom is pregnant!" It is so cute to see the excitement in his eyes!

We had a Dr. appointment yesterday and the doctor said things look great. He did another really quick ultrasound and we saw her heartbeat again! That will never get old. I love to see and hear our babies heartbeat! As far as me I am doing pretty good! I am still tired a lot and always hungry, but the morning sickness/nausea hasnt been too bad at all this past week and I am grateful for that! I love being pregnant this week!!!

8 weeks

Well I am 8 weeks and I cant believe how slow it is going. I feel like I have years to go. But in the end it will all be worth it. I dont want it to sound like I am complaining, but I want to document what is going on in this pregnancy week by week. So here is what is going on this week. I feel like crap 24/7 I have to eat every hour or two or I get really sick, light-headed, dizzy and extremely nauseous. But as long as I eat a little something regularly I just feel like crap. I am so tired, I cant even make it through the day anymore without a little mid-day nap. Oh and no matter how much I eat or how often, I am constantly hungry. I dont know what the deal is, but it is not good. I am trying really hard not to gain weight, because I seriously got HUGE with Grant. I mean HUGE!! Other than that I am loving being pregnant!!! Jared and I have already chosen names for a boy and a girl, and we can not wait to find out what it is. Although we call her by her name already, because we are convinced she is a girl!!

Growing up! My little guy has two loose teeth! He is so excited, and I have mixed feelings about it. It is fun, but it just means he is growing up way too fast. Man I love him so so much!

MEDS??? Not for me. Thank you!

Effects of an epidural on Labor

May slow labor, requiring Pitocin; and has been found to increase the chances of a cesarean delivery in primigravidas by two or three times.12


Often slows second stage by reducing or eliminating the normal surge of oxytocin; and by reducing pelvic floor muscle tone, which may lead to more deep transverse arrests or persistent occiput posteriors. In addition, forceps or vacuum extractor are required more often (20-75%). Delaying pushing until the fetal head is on the perineum reduces the need for forceps. Even though this approach lengthens the second stage, it does not increase the incidence of fetal distress
Effects of an epidural on a fetus

Abnormal heart rate patterns, requiring oxygen to the mother, position changes and possible cesarean delivery.


Increased likelihood of newborn septic workup, IV antibiotics and isolation in the nursery if the mother develops an "epidural fever" that causes fetal tachycardia or newborn fever.
 
If the fetus is already stressed greater amounts of the medication are "trapped" in the fetal circulation, leading to more pronounced newborn effects (see below).


Effects of an epidural on a newborn
 
Short-term (six weeks or less) subtle neurobehavioral effects, such as irritability and inconsolability and decreased ability to track an object visually or to shut out noise, bright light.4 There are no data on potential long-term effects.


Possible less efficient or less organized initial rooting and suckling behavior. Nurses have reported more difficulties in feeding babies whose mothers had an epidural when compared to unmedicated babies.6

Decreased infant responsiveness may lead to long-term consequences for the parent-infant relationship.14 Parents should be counseled to give their babies time to recover from the birth and medication and should avoid a label of "difficult child" or "incompetent mother."

Effects of pitocin

(a) maternal hypertensive episodes (abnormally high blood pressure)

(b) subarachnoid hemorrhage (bleeding in area surrounding spinal cord)
(c) anaphylactic reaction(exaggerated allergic reaction)
(d) postpartum hemorrhage (uterine hemorrhage following birth)
(e) cardiac arrhythmias (non-normal heart rate)
(f) fatal afibrinogenemia (loss of blood clotting fibrin)
(g) premature ventricular contraction(non-normal heart function)
(h) pelvic hematoma (blood clot in the pelvic region)
(i) uterine hypertonicity (excessive uterine muscle tone)
(j) uterine spasm (violent, distorted contraction of the uterus)
(k) tetanic contractions (spasmodic uterine contractions)
(l) uterine rupture
(m) increased blood loss
(n) convulsions (violent, involuntary muscle contraction(s).
(o) coma (unconsciousness that cannot be aroused)
(p) fatal oxytocin-induced water intoxication (undue retention of water marked by vomiting, depression of temperature convulsions, and coma and may end in death.
Fetal and Newborn Effects
The following adverse effects of maternally administered oxytocin have been reported in the fetus or infant:
(a) bradycardia (slow fetal heart rate)
(b) premature ventricular contractions and other arrhythmias (non-normal heart function
(c) low 5 minute Apgar scores (non-physiologic neurologic evaluation)
(d) neonatal jaundice (excess bilirubin in the blood of the neonate.
(e) neonatal retinal hemorrhage (hemorrhage within the innermost covering of the eyeball)
(f) permanent central nervous system or brain damage
(g) fetal death

Check out this website.  http://www.aimsusa.org/obstetricdrugs.htm 

LITTLE MORE THAN A DOZEN DRUGS HAVE BEEN APPROVED BY FDA FOR USE IN OBSTETRIC CARE and more than half of these drugs have had their FDA approved labeling removed from the PHYSICIANS DESK REFERENCE (PDR) by their manufacturers. The manufacturers of these drugs apparently prefer that the information regarding the inherent risks of these drugs be withheld from convenient review by health care providers and consumers.

Do I have a Birth Plan???

 What a silly question!! I had a pretty bad experience with Grant when I had him. I hated giving birth in the hospital. I had made up a very specific birth plan and there were certain things I DID NOT want, such as medication. I wanted to go Au Naturale! Well I think they looked at my birthplan and thought it would be funny to do everything exactly the oppossite of what I WANTED. To make a long story short I was made to have an epidural, made to have pitocin, made to stay in bed on my butt for 12 hours, and told I could not eat or drink anything. It sucked to say the least!
I vowed if I ever had another baby things would be different and I would not let the doctors or nurses push me around. My ideal situation would be to give birth in a birthing center, but after doing a lot of research I dont think that is going to happen. I DO NOT WANT TO GIVE BIRTH IN A HOSPITAL!!!  But through some more research that both Jared and I have been working on we found that at St. Mark's Women's Center they actually support natural birthing techniques and they will allow you to give birth with a midwife apposed to a Doctor. Dont get me wrong, I love my OB. But I have never discussed with him how he feels about my point of view(which I do plan on talking to him before I make any final decissions) I have been told the Women's Center is more like a hotel than a hospital, but I will let you know after I go tour it. I also have an appointment to meet with the midwives on Tuesday.

These are a few of the things I am including in my birth plan...

I do not want any medication, what-so-ever! I dont even want to be offered any!
I want my body to do what it was made to do, give birth, naturally.
I dont want my membranes ruptured artificially
I only want my baby monitored periodically and externally
I will manage all pain on my own and with the help of my husband
I want to be free to move about as much as neccessary during labor, i.e. walking, kneeling, bathing, showering (all the rooms at St. Mark's are equiped with showers and tubs)
I want my husband to catch my baby and I want to help pull her out
I want my husband and I and Grant to be able to bond with our baby in the very first minutes of her life
I want to give her her first bath with Grant's help
My baby will not leave my room at any point unless my husband is with her
I will breastfeed exclusively
I do not want the baby to be offered a pacifier, sugar water, or formula. Only mommy juice for my baby!

There are other things included in my birth plan but you get the jist. Some, including my parents, think I am crazy but this is my baby and my body and I want to do what I think is right for both of us!

Another ultrasound

Last night I drove out to Centerville. My aunt Penny and my cousins wife Sara have started their own little jewlery business, and last night they had an earring party. Even though I dont wear earrings I was happy to support them (and it was a lot of fun to see them too). I took Grant with me and on the drive home we had the sweetest little talk about how much he loves his baby sister already! I told him that she has already cost us more and caused mommy and daddy more anxiety than he ever did (which he found very funny), but mommy and daddy love her too and we already think of her as a member of our family!! When we got home we went through our bedtime routine and got Grant all settled in, as Jared and I went to go to bed I had to use the bathroom and I was bleeding. Tears started falling down my cheeks and I just sat there for a while. Obviously when you are pregnant bleeding is not a good thing. When I told Jared I could tell that he was concerned but he is so strong for me and he knows me well enough to know that is what I need. He just put his arm around me and told me that everything was going to be ok, then he held me while I had a little freakout-meltdown session. As soon as he had me settled my next instinct was that I needed to talk to my mom. You know in my eyes, my mom knows EVERYTHING (even if she doesnt) She always knows the right words to say to me. I guess after 27 years of being my mother she knows me pretty well. She told me that the worst thing for me to do is get all worked up and stressed. I needed to calm down and try to get some rest and I could call the doc in the morning. So that is what I TRIED to do. I went to bed and couldnt sleep so I went to Grants room and ran my fingers through his hair as I watched him peacefully sleep, I did a lot of praying and begging, and somehow I finally ended up falling asleep holding my sweet little boy's hand. As soon as I woke up this morning I called the nurse. She asked me several questions and said she wanted me to go in to get an ultrasound ASAP. I told her I wasnt even dressed and that it would take me about an hour to get there. So I threw my hair up and threw on some pants and took off to go get my husband. When I got up on the ultrasound table and she squirt that goop on my belly I had an overwhelming sense of peace come over me, like God was telling me "dont worry, everything is going to be okay" The technician told Grant he could come stand on the stool next to me. As I took my little Grant's hand I saw the amazing little flickering of our sweet baby's heart. I couldnt help but tear up and I was speechless. The tech pointed things out to us and she even printed out a picture, although the baby is so tiny you cant see much. She checked my ovaries, which are great and then she found a "spot". It was a black spot about the same size as the amniotic sack and it was right next to my little baby. She couldnt tell me exactly what it was but she did say that is where the blood was coming from and that it is not a good thing, but thats all she could tell us. After having the radiologist read the ultrasound the nurse called to let me know that it is a hemorrhage on my uterus, and no it is not a good thing but it is not something to get all worked up about. If I take it easy it should just repair itself and go away, thats what we are hoping anyway. The bleeding has somewhat tapered off a little today, which is good. I am supposed to call the nurse immediately if the bleeding picks up at all, and I HAVE TO TAKE IT EASY!!!
I know I have asked for a lot of prayers in the past but please pray for us. That my uterus is strong enough to sustain this pregnancy and carry our sweet baby to term. Thank you to everyone for all your support. We love you!

I am in love...

And I don't care who knows it!

I am so in love with this sweet boy! When I found out I was pregnant with him it was a surprise, but it was the most amazing surprise! When he was born it was love at first sight. And my love has grown leaps and bounds every day since then. I love my boy more than ANYTHING!

I wonder....

Do I have enough love to go around?

I wonder.....

How will I ever love another child as much as I love Grant?

I wonder.....

Is it even possible?

7 weeks

So here is what our amazing little baby looks like this week. This week she will go through a huge growth spurt. Last week she was about the size of a pea and this week she will be about the size of a large grape, she will more than doubled in size.

Your baby's leg and arm buds are longer now and they have divided into segments where the hands and feet will be. The hands and feet also have an area where the fingers and toes will begin to form. At this point of your pregnancy, the heart is bulging from the body and it has divided into right and left chambers. The brain's hemispheres are continuing to grow and the air passages into the lungs are visible. Your baby's eyes are beginning to get pigment. The nose is developing and the beginning of the face can be seen. The baby's abdomen is developing quickly and the appendix and pancreas are already present. Your baby's digestive tract is beginning to form and the hindgut is present. The shape of the tail can still be seen, but it will fade in 3 or 4 weeks.

These are some pictures I found of how quickly the hands and feet will be developing this week. I think it is so interesting.

Hand at 48 days

 

Hand at 51 days. Only 3 days later.

Foot at 51 days.

Foot at 60 days. Only 9 days later.

There is not a lot to report this week,which is a good thing. Other than the fact that I am having a hard time sleeping and it is frustrating.

6 weeks

Well I am now 6 weeks pregnant. I feel great other than being a little more tired than usual. For Jared and I both it is still very very surreal. We are both wondering when the reality of this is going to hit us. Dont get me wrong we are thrilled, just still in shock I guess. Grant is beyond thrilled and has already started talking to my tummy. It is the cutest thing ever, I cant wait until he can feel her kicking! I know that my babies will have an anamazing bond just like me and my little brother.
Most of you know that we have been trying for 5 years. Through this whole "trying for 5 years" proccess it has been so hard for me. I went through periods of doubting my ability as a woman and doubting my faith in God. I had many other doubts, regrets and "what-ifs" but through everything my amazing husband always believed. He believed in me, he beleived in God's plan, he beleived that everything was going to be fine and that when the time was right God would send our very special little princess to us. He has truly been my rock. And I love him even more for never giving up on this dream of expanding our family(even though I did a couple times) I honestly feel in my heart that this baby will be the princess we have been waiting for. So from now until we know for sure the sex, I am going to call our baby a her. (Jared and Grant and I already refer to her by her name) Here is what she looks like this week. Her eyes, ears, mouth, and nose are beginning to develope. Along with her intestines, pituitary gland, brain, muscles, and bones. Her heart has started to beat and blood is coursing through her tiny body. She is about 1/4 inch long.

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