Late Night Ramblings

I havent been feeling right lately. I am not sure why? I cant even really explain it. I have a million different emotions going on all at once and I am not sure which are real and which are superficial. My aunt passed away over the weekend and it was unexpected. I know I am upset about that. I wasnt real close to her and I think that is part of the reson I am so upset. I wish that I would have seen her more often. I wish that I would have known her better. I can sit here and wish all I want but it is not going to bring her back. I have never really been faced with death before other than my grandpa and I wasnt real close to him either. When Cory passed away back in April it hit me pretty hard. You always hear people say it, but it is so true, you can not take one moment for granted. I used to be really outgoing and I am not sure what happened but somewhere along the way I became very antisocial. I want to try to change that in some ways. I want to TRY to keep in contact with more family members and hopefully TRY to get together with my extended family more often. We all used to be so close and I know people grow up and start families of their own (I did) and life gets crazy busy. But when all is said and done all you will have at the end is family. I told Jared that we also need to make more of an effort to see his family more often, especially his mom. Like I said things are hectic but we really are going to TRY! After rambling about all that I still dont know exactly what it is that I am feeling but I wish it would stop. I dont like it. It is not a good feeling.

Well I love you all! Good night!